Modern Love ???

‘Modern love’-I’m not sure what that means to many.

This writing is in response to an article I read in the New York Times, 4/27/2021…”My Boyfriend Has Two Partners. Should I Be His Third?” by Silva Kuusniemi.

WHAT???

Because of possible infringement cannot copy and post link-google above to read.

Not to judge the author, but let’s just say if she was my daughter (could be), I’d sit with her and ask the question-”Did I fail you as a mother, a mentor, a guide, a confidant?”

Back to the concept-Modern Love. Will say being under the tutelage and spiritual mentoring of a very liberal Christian minister, nearly 90 years young, 60 of those years married to the same woman, saying “Wouldn’t trade my life for anything.” He’s in love with her even more and believe me when I say their life together has not been a walk in the park-especially as a minister who happens (still) to be handsome, charismatic, and a man who had women (and men) flock to him for guidance after being “wounded”. In his words-”women are created to be monogamous, actually men too”.

A false notion, fabricated by the women’s lib movement was girls will be boys.

These aren’t biblical times where “hands” were needed to toil the land and cultivate tribes. Jealousy amongst women (and men) in scripture was noted often. The teachings of the New Testament make our lives actually easier if we truly understand the context and teachings of the contemporary Christ. More on that later.

Moving forward. Modern life-especially during the sexual revolution-women often behaved like their male counterparts having multiple liaisons acting as if taking on a “lover{s}” was “natural” and accepted their lovers with other woman.

I haven’t met any woman who played in that sandbox that didn’t feel empty, hurt, and unfortunately, at times, jaded in terms of falling in real love that undoubtedly takes patience, has stages, and worthwhile work. Some gals just don’t “go there”; not wanting to get hurt or feel the emptiness again.

Very sad.

A piece of the soul is chipped away each time. Men can experience the same emptiness and hurt if in fact their true love is not reciprocated.

Both men and women can become stone hearted; dull in ability to give and receive love. Women’s ability to soften and show vulnerability-I’ve come to learn, a very attractive trait- loved by men has disappeared. Some men have lost confidence from the “emotional castration” experienced when women behave like one of the guys.

There are endless ramifications to the above including (my opinion) infertility.

Another discussion.

I feel the pretense of gals who thought that multiple lovers or dating a non-monogamous man showed independence. Bullshit.

Nothing could be further from the truth, especially if one TRULY falls in love with their partner as the well written article suggests.

Emptiness best describes the feelings when women tolerate, go along with, and again pretend to be “open” about their sexual relationships.

I actually have respect and a fairly new understanding of the “business” of prostitution. I’m not condoning prostitution, however, again biblically speaking, there is evidence to support women truly didn’t jive with their actions-yet survival was their motivation. No different than today. It’s a “business”-no attachment.

I don’t expect every reader to agree with these thoughts. Hoping however to stimulate contemplation and comments about the subject.

Desire is another story. We as humans are “wired” for desire-part of DNA and this gift if taken seriously, with reverence and gratitude can bring joy, deep intimacy, physical pleasure and satisfaction as intended. Taken for granted, can bring a lot of emotional, physical, and destructive pain to those involved.

This is a subject that is experiential as well as talked about. My sense is all of us have to “go through” experiences to make our conclusions. That being said-why do some jump on a bandwagon because someone else does. Modern love as described in the NYT article demonstrates a pattern that some relationships follow.

Free will and choice are for all, however, often abused in the hands of those lacking discernment.

To each his own-one has the right to their personal choices.

Maybe it’s necessary to get burned before realizing fire can be beautiful and harm too.